Roast Script (Male & Female)

Welcome everyone to tonight’s grand event. Alright, It’s time to introduce you to this evening’s guests for the Bob Charles roastarama. So with no further ado, Please put your hands together for the man who’s so old his blood type has been discontinued, That’s right, We Remember him when he had only one stomach, The one, the only Bob Charles! And let’s have a big round of applause for the woman responsible for Bob’s great success, without her he wouldn’t even be here tonight, that’s right it’s Bob’s mother, Mrs. Janet Charles. Next up, He flew all the way from Bangkok just to be here tonight , and boy are his arms tired, Mr. Greg Schwimmer. However, Not to be outdone, she’s just returned from her acclaimed one-woman flight to the moon, which she insists is made of American and not green cheese, please welcome Bob’s space cadet sister, astronaut Patty Cake. Contrary to common opinion Patty did not marry her husband Lester Cake for his name alone. And last but not least, the man who, though he did not invent edible underwear has almost single-handedly kept this niche industry afloat, Mr. James I like Grape Mc Dowell. There you have it ladies and gentleman, tonight’s motley cast of characters.


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