The smartest robot ever made, Zillion was built by the government to do a buncha boring crap. Fortuntately, he was smart enough to realize this and escaped to find some fun and excitement. He happened to run into the Plainerd family’s home just as they were waiting for their foreign exchange student to show up. Despite his boxy appearance, Zillion’s peculiar personality and
cluelessness about the world was enough for them (and the rest of the world) to assume he was their exchange student. He was more than happy to fill the role since the government now wants to find him and erase his brain. He quickly became best friends with their 15 year old son Otis who is the only person who knows his secret.

Zillion loves his new life and does whatever he can to live it like a “real teenager.” As smart as he is, sometimes his ideas of what makes a real teenager are a little off. It’s a fine line between being the smartest and dumbest robot ever made. He tends to misinterpret social cues and situations a good bit, focusing on the wrong things (he thinks the cummerbund is a mysterious and powerful artifact that all teenagers aspire to one day obtain). He also has a hard time suppressing his robotiness, using his Swiss Army Knife-like array of gadgets at inappropriate times. Fortunately, everybody just chalks his odd behavior up to him being “that weird foreign kid” and it’s actually made him pretty popular at school, a quirky mascot for the students.

1. ZILLION

A robot? Well, I wouldn’t know nothing about that, Jackson! No, I’m just your average, run of the mill 13-19 year old flesh-covered skeleton! (beat) I mean, teenager. You should see my cavalcade of embarrassing physical problems! And just watch me eat this real live sammich! (smooshes sammich into side of head) Mmm! Delish!

2. ZILLION

(PARANOID, BUILDING) SHH! Get down! I don’t like the way that traffic light’s looking at me! He just keeps blinking with that lidless red eye like some kinda traffic cyclops! He’s jealous of my body, I know it! He wants me dead so he can inhabit my robot carcass and rampage through the city, causing untold thousands to have to come to a full and complete stop before continuing on their way!! (LOSES IT) Imagine the horror!!

3. ZILLION

You’ve never heard of trophy pudding?! Then peep this new math! Trophy equals champion. Pudding is greater than or equal to ‘squish.’ Therefore, according to the reflexive property of Read My Square Lips, trophy pudding is the squish of a champion! (beat) Remainder 3!

4. ZILLION

We can’t leave yet, I’m having a great time at this here hot tub jam! That one guy over there actually drank a pair of pants! (WHISPERING) Besides, I hacked into your parent’s GPS and I’ve been tracking their car all night. They’re still all the way in some place called…Drive Way. Don’t worry, buddy. I’ll let you know if they get close!

5. ZILLION

(WEEPY)I’m sorry Otis. I was just trying to be a real teenager like you. Except for the odor…and the eating things off the floor (GROWING LESS WEEPY)…and the not really having any friends…and the negative-one pair of boxer shorts. (WEEPY AGAIN) But other than those couple things I was trying to be just like you! (beat) ‘Cept for the smell.